And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
