My brain says no but my pants say off.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
