When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
