You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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