they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Be still, my beating vagina.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
