Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sorry about my life...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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