True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
