When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
