Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
