Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
