yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
