Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
