Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
