we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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