apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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