when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
this beer tastes like vomit already
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
