Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
