can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
