just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
