He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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