he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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