come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
