Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Randomize
