R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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