Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So squirting runs in the family.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
