You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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