So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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