i don't like sucking hair
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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