I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
