I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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