i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
