operation harelip BJ is a go
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
