after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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