are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
