I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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