Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
