You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just found a bag of teeth...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
