she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
