Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
