Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
