Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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