CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
