Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
