That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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