Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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