yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
