I just saw a hot homeless man
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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