Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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