She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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