how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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