Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
