i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Randomize
