I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
