Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
